Every Step I Take Is Another Mistake To You
by theMONSTERmuffin
Summary: Fairytales don't last forever. But new stories are written everyday. N/J. I also owe the plot to BAEFJNH09.
1. Help

_Gossip Girl here, looks like fairytales don't last long. Everyone had a busy day, sorry it didn't work out S with anyone, guess you're alone. Now where did B go after today? _

_XOXO Gossip Girl._

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* * *

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Jenny snapped up from her bed, eyes wide with fear and her hands shaking, she felt her chest rise and fall quickly as she cautiously looked out of the corner of her eye to see him sleeping next to her, as she slowly moved she could feel her heart racing. The smallest mistake could lead to him screaming, if she moved his fist would meet some part of her body and even worse he would take it to the next level. One year, a year with the perfect man and they had even moved into the loft in Brooklyn only a few months ago, both of them staying close to their roots. But she had had a feeling after six months that it wasn't a fairytale, when she got to busy he had gone somewhere else for sex, and when she quit work for him it was an argument, they had had them before, and it just got worse after that.

Creeping down the hall way she wrapped her fingers around the hem of her gown, her body trembling, looking out of the corner of her eye every now and again she didn't see him moving. When there was just that creek in the floor board she could hear him groan as he woke-up, it was like going into a cave and waking up a bear, it as like every small thing she did made him feel threatened. As she saw him move towards the bedroom entrance she dived into the bathroom, closing the door she locked it. He was finally really waking up, he was screaming and shaking the door, she looked around and had a quick thought. Her phone, she charged it every night in the bathroom so incase it ever turned on or something he would never hear it.

Flipping it open she pressed the two button and hit the talk, the phone rung three times before he picked up, she was cowering in the bath tub when he answered too.

"Chuck! You need to help me."

"Jenny, calm down. What's wrong?"

"Chuck he's after me!"

"Where are you?"

"The loft. Please, hurry!"

"Ok, calm down."

"No! No! Plea-" You could hear her screaming as he dragged her out of the bath tub, her screams were horrifying, and as Chuck sat there for a moment he could listen to her beg for her life. But her sounds were gone as Chuck closed the phone, she was gone.


	2. It Doesn't Stop

Jennifer Tallulah Humphrey at twenty years old she was standing at the top of five foot nine, her hair had just recently gotten re-cut the way he liked it but otherwise she was the same girl from Brooklyn. Just a bit more posh and polished, with make-up applied each and every morning she would make two meals a day for him, breakfast which he'd wake-up to and then dinner he would eat after a long day at work.

In her mind they were still kids, in love like teenagers but her life had been different since they started dating. Just before her nineteenth birthday she and Clark had really hit it off after meeting through Upper East Sider friends. He was the son of the California governor so money was just another thing he held for them, but he flattered her by paying for all sorts of things to impress her.

She remembered after a week of chasing her he approached her with his giving up speech. It was cute but it hurt, the truth that was. He told her that there was no point in trying to chase Nate to the ends of the earth so she gave-up but said she wanted to be friends, and eventually friends led to being more after he flew her out to California for a long weekend which they spent on the beach the whole time.

And one drunken night as friends he ended up showing her extreme kindness by not taking advantage of her intoxicated self as she pushed herself onto him. Instead he set her up in his bed but slept in the guest room, and when she woke the next morning she was shocked by his chivalry and in return they went on an official date.

Now just over a year later in this loft she was preparing for the morning after, a day at work which she knew she couldn't take yet another sick day. So on a cool winter day in New York she put the finishing touches on her make-up and put on the designer sun glasses he had bought her last Christmas.

A deep sigh and she looked in the mirror, perfect. Just the way he had always wanted, she showed her legs in a pair of black lace tights with ankle booties with a one and a half inch heel. With a tight fit skirt that ended several inches above her knee she finished it off with a printed and colorful long sleeve shirt that was hidden by her low-drop gray pea coat. Her hair had been curled to remind her of youth and the sunglasses just seemed to fit, she looked more ready for a night out than she did for work but luckily today would be on the move.

No one to talk to for long, no one to see for long either meaning certain aspects wouldn't be questionable.

Chuck had come by at two that morning and threatened to call the police but Clark had convinced him that it was another paranoia attack. She had those often, and had been on medication that Chuck had kept a careful eye on. She actually took the medication in front of Chuck some times to remind herself to act normal and when he asked how she was she'd always say stable and that therapy was helping.

But she hadn't slept that morning after the attack, she had laid awake in bed next to him as he apologized saying he would never do it again. This was the worst, and for the smallest thin of having waken him up knowing he had a busy day ahead of him.

Shaking her head at the thought he had snuck up behind her with his hands on her shoulder, a shudder ran through her spine but she knew not to scream or make sudden movements. His fingers traced her collar bone as he lowered his head and kissed her neck before spinning her around.

As much as she was scared she could only smile because she really did love him, his lips crashed down on hers as he pulled her closer his member rubbing along her thigh she just smiled under the kiss.

"If I didn't have the car waiting for me, I'd take you to bed right now." Whispering into her ear his breath was warm as it tickled her skin her spine shivered.

With one last kiss he smiled to her and then grabbed his things off the kitchen counter and hopped into the elevator. A deep sigh of relief she felt her whole body drop once she entered the living room, he was gone and for good at least for a few hours. Working from home was so bad for her but it meant no one would have to see her.

But as soon as the tears were flowing she heard the television screaming in protest as a video call was being placed from the Bass Residence. But as soon as she called for it to ignore the call opened anyways.

"Hello Jennifer I w- Jenny?" "Oh I'm sorry Chuck, I broke some important china I wasn't expecting this." "Have you taken your medication?" "Yes." "Very good well I was wondering if we were still on for lunch?" "Oh Chuck I totally forgot."

With that the elevator was coming closer and closer to their pent house as her face filled with fear Chuck noticed it for a minute but then quickly came out of the elevator himself and hung up the video call.

"Which I figured you would." A small smile he grabbed her into his arms and hugged her. But she felt tense and frail underneath him, as if she had dropped weight which was scary to think about. "Why in god's name are you wearing sun glasses?"

Chuck made a move to remove them but she grabbed his hands, and without speaking he knew something was gravely wrong. But with the stern look on his face she gave-up and soon he was removing them just as soon as another two faces entered the pent house behind him.

"Jenny!" Blair's voice shattered the pure air that was in the room as her hands flew over her mouth.

Chuck's face was frozen as he held the sunglasses in his hands just below her chin, still shocked by what he was seeing and then there was the growl behind him that he knew came from his friend.

Nate's scowl was fierce as his calm demeanor he was known for was completely gone. "Who did this?" It wasn't even a question so much as a demanding growl that escaped him, it was scary that even had Blair look to him.

Jenny's face dropped to look at her feet as she felt Chuck lift her face she just yielded as he lifted her face just above normal to a point her eyes glazed over Blair and Nate she then looked to the ceiling.

"I fell, during one of my attacks." Her voice low and almost inaudible to anyone more than five feet from her but Chuck heard the fear that was there, the unsure feeling that was radiating off her body.

But it was only when the lighting got slightly better as the clouds disappeared outside the full damage could be seen, the pent house's white walls shone bright amplifying her face and like that she knew there was no lying.

Her left eye was slightly bleeding, a vessel or two must have broken as a blood spot was there sitting in the white. A small cut remained under her eyebrow and then there was the massive bruise surrounding her eye it was yet to turn a dark blue which showed how fresh it was.

Just hours early she could remember when the darkness engulfed her, it was a paralyzing sleepless night where physically she had felt herself shut down but her eyes remained open. Or at least the eye that was good, her other eye squinted out the haziness of white to make out the ceiling as she felt the pain registering through the night. He'd been sorry enough to give her pain killers, he too seemed to realize that the damage he'd done was the worst to date and yet he continued on just like any other time.

Chuck sighed deeply as he put his hand in the small of her back and handed her off to Blair who rushed her to the bathroom. Which is where Blair sat her down on a small chair and got a better look.

Pulling Jenny's hair back she noticed bruises on her hair line, and as she lowered the collar to Jenny's coat and removed her scarf there was the hand mark that wrapped on the left side of her throat. The cover-up required to make her forehead looked normal was almost as much cover-up came in the bottle, along with a pure talent for applying it.

As she wet a cloth and grabbed some make-up remover she worked all around Jenny's face and was just horrified by the marks she had been able to cover.

There was a small cut on the bridge of her nose along with the one that went from the right side of her nostril down her lip and then the color of lipstick hid the cut that was recent there. It was a professional cover-up meaning she'd been doing this for a while but her eyes just stared through Blair as she worked around her face.

With a deep sigh she kept dabbing her face carefully so not to hurt her, and all she could wonder was what was she thinking.

* * *

"I'm gonna kill him." Nate's voice was furious as he paced the pent house while Chuck drank a glass of scotch before pouring Nate a shot and sliding it towards him. "Not now!" "I must insist." Chuck took a deep breath and sat down on the couch parallel to the coffee table. You could tell Jenny didn't have much taste or effort involved in the pent house besides small spurts of the girl everywhere.

There were photographs that he remembered she had brought up when she was younger, there were two of them he recognized that he himself had bought. But aside from that there were photos of Jenny and Clark in random spots of the living room and the walls were a generic white with tan trim and other basic colors that he himself would appreciate if she was in her fifties, not twenty.

Nate was running his fingers through his hair as he sat on the single seat across from Chuck, his head hanging low in his hands he could feel his blood boiling.

"How did we let this happen?" "We were all blind, she's always been a good liar." "But look at her! That's not something you hide by lies." Nate had lifted his head and gave Chuck a mournful look as he shook his head. "We'll get her the help she needs." And with that in classic Chuck form he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and made a phone call. But just for that moment Nate had noticed something in his friend's eyes, they were getting glossy almost as if he'd cry.

* * *

"Jenny..." Blair's voice trailed off as she sat on the bed while Jenny undressed slowly, revealing the bruises that were there and Blair had to avert her eyes. She didn't love the girl but had learned to care for her when she realized just how much she meant to Chuck.

Turning in her panties and bra she could see the extent of the damage, mostly her face which was not something she could hide. Then there was the finger marks on her neck, the bruise that was disappearing from last week on her arm, and then a more recent bruise from when he held her down with his knee on her abdomen.

"Yeah?" Jenny turned slowly, for once she felt the bruises and even though she felt safe with her friends there was still a fear. With no response from Blair still she went to the closet and grabbed a pair of black leggings along with her old sweat shirt and hid herself once more. Returning to the mirror she could only offer a small smile at the satisfaction of hiding the larger pieces of his work, but her face was still out in the open.

"Why'd you stay with him?" Blair stood behind her with a sadness on her face that Jenny had seen maybe twice.

Spinning around to face the brunette she looked like a doe lost in the head lights as she stared blankly into her brown eyes. Her frosty blue eyes glossed over as she felt Blair wrap her into a hug.

"I'm sorry Jen I didn't mean too." "No, no it's fine. I just, I can't remember when I became so weak." Wiping her eyes with her sleeve she wiped her nose as well, she was leaving that night to go live in the Bass pent house suite, she'd stay in the guest room and Chuck said he'd deal with Clark. But for now everyone was just relaxing, the boys were in the living room and here Jenny and Blair were hugging. "Jenny, you're not weak. You were in lo-" "Don't." "Look I'll help you pack your stuff."

* * *

1 1/2 hours later

* * *

As the doors of the elevator opened to the Bass pent house she breathed in the small amount of relief and the large amount of fear, as Chuck put a hand on her shoulder he led her into the living room.

"You can pick whichever guest room. I'll have your things brought up." A smile on his face she gave a small smile to him and then turned away to the guest room and closed the door.

Blair made her way into the living room of the suit as well and sat down on the couch and then patted the spot next to her. Chuck smiled and sat next to her as he wrapped her into his arms, she relaxed and leaned into him.

"She thinks she's weak." Blair spoke first as she looked out the window and onto the skyline of the city that surrounded them.

"Well she's not."

With moments of silence for a bit he kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes.

"I probably shouldn't say it, but have you ever wondered why?" "I've been asking myself since I saw her. I can only wonder why I never noticed."

* * *

Author Notes:

Please feel free to message me with suggestions!


	3. Chapter 3

- **3 weeks later **-

"I think you're making excellent progress so far considering what you've been through." Michelle smiled to the blond who sat comfortably across from her.

Jenny had spent the first week getting to know Michelle as a trust exercise the woman had wanted to pursue, it was three sessions of mostly Michelle talking. She was forty-three years old with two children and her second husband. Having been born in Sweden she came over to America when she was eight and had grown up in California where at seventeen she met her first boyfriend who she ended up marrying at twenty.

Not longer after she found out she was pregnant and they had their first child, Sam, who was now twenty-two and living in California attending college. However after Sam turned six his father enlisted in the army and was sent over seas where he served three consecutive tours before coming back after being shot. So when he did Michelle got pregnant again and eventually a few years later he was reassigned on tour.

Michelle had just turned thirty-five though when she got the news a week after her birthday that her husband wasn't coming back. So she re-married a few years later and now lived in New York City where her new husband was an architect. And now she enjoyed counseling, and was one of the finest in New York City which was why Chuck had hired her for Jenny so that she could only receive the best treatment.

But Jenny had been learning to trust, and reconnect with people and starting to get over the hump that was 'domestic abuse' which she hated hearing those words. Her face had finally been healing, all that remained were small remnants of the cuts and the yellow bruise that was almost gone on the bridge of her nose. Her eye still had the broken blood vessel that was going to take a few more weeks to heal.

However for Jenny it wasn't the external wounds that still hurt but the internal, the ones that scared her daily. She had had phone calls in the middle of the night to help her with real panic attacks, not the fake ones Clark had been supposedly helping her with. Paranoia also had begun to settle in which had simply come in the form of not sleeping, and at that Jenny yawned which had Michelle scribble on her note pad.

"How's the sleep?"

"I get a few hours throughout the day, it comes in periods when I'm really tired."

"And the dreams?"

"They all start out so nice," Her eyes darted out the window and she twirled her hair, which had Michelle put the pen down and the notepad to the side table and lean forward.

"And then what?" Dropping her hair she bit her lip before turning to Michelle. "Then I saw him coming towards me and just before he could get me I wake-up. Chuck tells me I wake-up sweating and screaming. He hasn't gotten much sleep." Grabbing her hair once more she twirled as she looked back out the window, "I feel bad."

"He seems to care about you a lot."

"He does..."

There were lots of clouds out she was noticing, more of a grayish tint to the world as she watched people walk by and taxis and cars drive by. They were at Michelle's house this time, it was very cozy and private in the living room. It was such a personal space, lined with photos of her family and children. But the best part that Jenny was getting use to was Violet, a border collie cross that was Michelle's dog who also did therapy sessions with her younger clients. Even though dogs weren't her thing she felt like a child when she pet Violet, it was a calming aid that they had used a couple of times when they first spoke about the nightmares, and whenever Michelle brought up Clark it would help disperse some of the fear and anxiety.

But Jenny noticed the clock, any minute now someone would be here to pick her up. It wasn't exactly a progressive session like some of the rest, but this one was based on relaxation which Jenny felt for once. To help ease tension in her life, they'd been talking a lot about how she had chosen to decorate her room at Chuck's and Jenny's assignment had been to bring in photos of it which she had done. It wasn't bland there was creation put into he room which Michelle was happy with.

Jenny had also begun to draw again, except not fashion like she use to but instead just pictures. Michelle had surprised her with a sketch pad their second appointment, in which Jenny had almost filled with photos of the skyline from various angles from her window as well as others in the pent house. Then there were portraits, one she had drawn of Michelle which wasn't quite complete but Michelle was astonished by how good the girl drew.

And like clock work there was a knock on the door, and Jenny couldn't imagine who it was this time. So far it had been Chuck almost every time, sometimes with Blair and then there were times that Blair had picked her up, and sometimes Eric. But it had always been Chuck to drop her off, while he was on his way into work even though it was a thirty minute drive out of his way.

"Jenny, your ride is here." Michelle smiled as the person to get Jenny walked through the door, and to her surprise it was Nate.

She hadn't seen or heard from him much besides texting the past two weeks. He'd been there every day for her the first week, helping her out and for that first week he'd been the one to talk to her through the hours she was awake after the nightmares. But he'd been in and out of the pent house the past two weeks, she saw him some nights coming in or she'd be in a daze as he came in for the night and re-adjusted the blanket on her.

Getting up she smiled at Michelle and the woman offered a smile to both of them before watching as the two walked out. He had a genuine smile, that of someone who'd be good and protecting of her, Michelle could note it in his face. Turning away and closing the door as the car took off she grabbed her pen and notebook and wrote down to make sure to ask about the man the next time.

* * *

"How was it?"

"Same stuff every time, we just talk."

"Talking is good."

After a few moments Nate went to fumbling with his phone just as he received an e-mail and with that he groaned and hung his head like a kid. As Jenny's attention was taken from the rolling landscape of sidewalks and fake bushes and people she looked to Nate.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, I was suppose to be somewhere and I forgot. I'll just re-schedule."

"I don't need your escort home..."

"No you don't but I wanted to take you out to lunch."

"Oh we-"

"No we're going to lunch. I can re-schedule anything Jenny. After all I'm Na-"

"Nate Archibald!"

She had put the window down even in the freezing cold and screamed it out the window, which had her laughing as she turned to him. Her cheeks were bright red as he smiled to her, she had really changed just in the past few weeks. She'd been more freer, been different than she had in a year and a half. But one thing Nate had missed more than anything was being able to see her, he almost had forgotten how much he did miss her.

* * *

"So, where have you been lately?"

"Oh no where, been seeing someone on and off." Taking a sip of water he noticed Jenny's eyebrows lift as she put her fork down from her mouth and smirked at him.

"Oh really?" Nate had taken a bite of his food in which she rolled her eyes at, he was going to avoid talking about it. "Tell me about her."

"Jen it's really nothing to ta-"

"Spill it Archibald."

And he did, she had learned the tricks to Nate over several years, whenever she asked him to jump his only response was "How high?" there was never really an argument. But she could hear everything he said but she thought about the past. Although for a moment she heard the way he talked about this girl, he was interested in her and for that moment she thought about that girl asking him to jump, and him running to her and asking how high, giving no argument. Jenny could only wonder when the time would come that he'd have to say no to her.

Her name was Camille and she was pretty,a fashion model that wored for Blair's company and they had met at a small fundraiser a few months ago. That they'd seen each other several times since then but recently they'd been seeing each other more and more since she had been living in New York City in preparation for a fashion show to model for Blair.

There were the regular statistics that Jenny learned about her, she was twenty-two, meaning just older than her and just younger than Nate. She was beautiful, with long blond hair and big brown eyes, she was tall and stick thin. However there were a few things Jenny knew about the woman that were just known facts if you followed the internet.

She had extremely large breasts which Jenny could feel herself smirk at that thought, on such a small body she knew Camille had gone under the knife to get her large C cups on such a small frame. They were on the verge of every man's dreams and every girl's jealousy, and for Jenny she knew every girl in Constance probably asked Mommy and Daddy for a pair like those as a graduation present.

Bu there was the undercover side of things about Camille that Jenny knew, she could remember Fashion week after Jenny's seventeenth birthday when the two first met. They hadn't seen each other since that long weekend but Blair had introduced them, seeing as Jenny was an up and coming designer and Camille a model the two really hit it off.

Over a few shots, the pair had found a club that quickly accepted them in their clothing and their looks. Jenny was in celebration, as an up and coming designer with her brand new friend and her brand new line she was ready for anything.

The biggest thing of that night was she knew she had woken up with the clearest thought of the night before, and couldn't help but last. But the two girls had wasted the day away having woken up at three that afternoon in the suite Camille had gotten. Jenny had gotten laid that coming night with Camille's help but Jenny just knew the girl had a history.

Camille suffered from an eating disorder, or at least three years ago, as well as a recreational use of cocaine and had been known for her stints in rehab for alcohol abuse. Otherwise she used marijuana recreationally which was never a surprise, it helped the girl function in life and remain calm before and after shows but the girl was a known partier on the social circuit. But Jenny had to remind herself, that was three years ago she didn't keep up with the girl afterwords.

But now here she was rearrising after three years as Nate's new interest, and as soon as she clicked back into the reality that was Nate speaking she heard him speak slowly but confidently.

He finished with what seemed like a small speech about how Camille had straightened up the past year after a close encounter with death scared her, she went to rehab and cleaned up and had been sober ever since. That he was really happy with her the past two weeks and although he didn't stay every night the days they spent together were fun.

There was a happy tone in his voice which Jenny hadn't heard in a while, so she smiled as she reached out across the tabe and grabbed his hand which snapped Nate out of a small trance.

"I'm happy for you Nate."

That's when Nate saw it, the first real smile with teeth and everything as she stared at him. And for a moment he was taken back at the beauty she did possess as he grabbed her hand back.

"And I am happy you're doing so well."

* * *

Chuck received the blast first, in his twenties he knew that social media sites were stupid and had unsubscribed but for some odd reason this one had come to him. A Gossip Girl blast with a picture of Nate and Jenny, where the man was grabbing her hand and the two of them were looking at each other with smiles. There was a story behind this and with that he rolled his eyes and deleted it.

He'd buy a new phone instead, update the software on it to make sure he never got such childish things.

* * *

Who did he think he was? Was he that guy?

His mind was racing as he tried to think of who she thought she was having moved on like this. But he missed her. Could she really be seeing someone else? Who moved on that quickly?

Yet in the photo as he blocked the man's face he just saw her, she was so beautiful and healthy looking. You couldn't tell anything had happened besides for a small trace of a cut on the bridge of her nose aside from that she was nothing but stunning beauty. She had been growing out her hair and even in a few weeks it must have grown or she cut it differently, and she really did look stunning. Her hair was blonder he thought, there were light curls in it again, little to no make-up on her face, she looked like pure innocent beauty.

He missed her face, being able to touch her face at night before they went to bed. But at the same time he couldn't imagine someone else putting a hand on her, he shook his head at the thought of that. This man in the photo, the guy that had broken her heart years ago and had left him to pick up the pieces.

"It's time to start."

Saving the picture to his phone he focused it onto her face, zoomed in to cover the screen as he saved it as his background. He wasn't obsessed he was in love, he loved her he always had. She would be his motivation throughout the process, to heal and move on, his reward at the end of the tunnel.

His brow furrowed as he felt the rage filling up in his chest, as his face was turning red he locked the phone and turned it off. To even think she had moved on set him into anger but very quickly a hand was clasped on his shoulder.

"Clark, it's time to start."

* * *

**A/N - **

**Whoa! Another chapter in less than 4 years? That's concerning... just kidding. Thanks to an amazing person I have been developing inspiration by the boat loads and this chapter came so easily and the next is already a work in process. **

**Do not worry kiddos! There's some dark and light things to come c; So just be ready for drama by the boat loads and scares as well. I do need reviews please!**


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N. So I've settled on trying to describe Clark as Scott Eastwood for a portrayal. Handsome and just very sexy, however not as lovely as our Nathaniel!**

* * *

She still had one photo she had tucked away for the last month of her and him. Truthfully they looked like your typical beautiful couple sitting at the end of the boat, their first time going out to the Bahamas as a "power couple" and making a public appearance. But she brushed her hair back as she sat on the bed and looked at the picture.

Clark was absolutely handsome as he stood on the end of the boat with his hands on her waste, she could remember that day clearly. The way his eyes looked at her and his lips tickled up and down her neck all day, occassionally stealing a kiss in between a cigar he'd smoke with his father and family. His hair was tussled and out of place from how he usually wore it but she remember combing her fingers through it whenever she got the chance to sit with him. He'd worn a pair of swim trunks later on that day but in this particular photo they were a true couple.

He smiled standing just slightly behind her, and still towering over her with a hand on her waste and the smile was in his eyes as well. There was a lot of true joy in his face as well as in hers. His blue plaid shirt was unbutton to show his torso off behind hers which happened to match her own outfit at the time, and the khaki shorts were very simple and classic similar to his father and male family member's outfits they too had worn.

Jenny on the other hand just smiled at how healthy she looked at the time, her hair was let down loose and her old length where it was as long as she had ever let it grown. Her eyes were large and blue with very little make-up on her face, and the Dolce sun glasses sat on her head. The priceless smile on her face as she looked into the camera with joy, not a hint of fear could be seen in her face because at the time nothing had happened. It was still a fairy tale.

However for Jenny she was still dressing her in then all herself style, her bikini proved it very simply but the conservative nature was there as well. She had a black bandeau with a v-bar that had a see-through back to it, which she still owned somewhere in her closet. And to match it was a pair a bottom with a pink and yellow strand on the side to show off a bit more skin. But she had a small see-through black cover-up wrapped around her legs.

The water had been so clear that day, she remembered everyone being so happy and drinking a lot and she could mostly remember when her and Clark jumped off the boat together and into the crystal clear water. The way he joked with her about having a good time, that they should think outside the box, but they put all the fun off until that night. It was after all her first vacation with the family and the first time she really met everyone gathered in one place.

But the knock on the door disrupted her train of thought as she heard Blair call her name, getting up she opened a drawer and threw the picture in before getting back on the bed.

"Come in."  
"Hey Jen, Chuck and I got invited to a fundraiser event do you wanna go?"  
"Sure when is it?"  
"Tonight."  
"Oh sure! Let me just grab a dress from the many dresses I own. I can't get a dress by tonight." Jenny had rolled her eyes, of course Blair had asked that and of course she brings it up last minute.  
"Well I was hoping you'd come with me shopping..." Blair smiled and widened her eyes and pouted.  
"Oh with all my money?"  
"Chuck's paying for the two of us. Says his two favorite ladies have to look fabulous." Blair was smiling meaning she had convinced Chuck that Jenny would say yes anyways.  
"Fine, let me get dressed."  
"Perfect!" Blair smiled and squealed a little like a little kid as she spun around and went into the living room to wait for Jenny.

Rolling her eyes she smiled at the thought and then opened the closet and peered in. It was amazing really what Chuck had been offering her, she lived in a bedroom that was twice the size of the room she'd had at the loft years ago, in fact it was probably almost as large as the room she and Clark had lived in. There was a walk-in closet with clothes that either Chuck or Clark had bought her over the years, and mostly Chuck because he'd cared for her for forever really.

Somewhere in the back of the closet were clothes that had been from when she was transitioning herself from this room to moving in with Clark. But she decided to dig for a minute and grabbed a simple sweater, she remembered getting it because Nate had given it to her for her seventeenth birthday. It wasn't anything fancy but a cashmere sweater with large navy stripes across it and with that she grabbed a pair of simple leggings, threw on heels and grabbed a jacket and headed out.

* * *

"Oh just come out!" Blair smiled, she had picked her dress for the evening it was a longer gown and all day she'd been trying to convince Jenny that a shorter dress would suit her better for the night and finally Jenny had complied with her ideas.

But every dress so far had proven Blair wrong, they just weren't fitting quite right and ringing off in Blair's eye the right way and Jenny liked anythig nice but Blair wanted her to look stunning for the evening. And as soon as Jenny walked out rolling her eyes she spun for Blair who just smiled bigger and bigger and finally had her stand in the mirror.

"That's the one!"  
"Really? But it's so boring."  
"But it's perfect. It's what you need for tonight. We'll take it." Blair smiled at the sales woman as she handed over one of Chuck's cards and just smiled to Jen.

Minutes later they walked out with the dresses in tow as they got into the car Chuck had arranged, and within ten minutes they were back at the building where Jen got out and Blair was going home. But of course she left Jenny hanging with suspicion.

"Stylists will be coming at five, and the men arrive at seven."  
"Men?"  
"Of course, woman like us need dates."

And with that Blair put the window up and waved to Jenny, she was absolutely confused but she had two hours to spend at home with nothing to do so she figured she'd catch up on Netflix on Chuck's custom flat screen. So that was the end of it, Netflix and Jenny was off up the elevator. But she couldn't decide, to catch up on a few episodes of One Tree Hill or maybe start a new show, the choices she had.

* * *

Sure enough Blair was prompt on arrival as she pinged off the elevator with people in tow at exactly five, maybe seconds late but Blair would never admit it. Within the two hours the girls were ready and glamorous, and were now just getting the finishing touches on make-up as one of the stylists clasped the button to Jenny's dress and Blair stood watching the girl with a smile. Blair had refused to let Jenny see herself, for Blair tonight was a sign of Jenny's progress as her first public apperance since seeking help and moving past the past.

And the same familiar tune of the elevator Jenny kept her focus on the lip stick tube that hadn't been touch, but when she heard the stylist say she was all set she stood up and smiled. And when she heard two wows she could only look from the boy's faces to Blair with a bashful smile and mouthed thank you to the girl.

Her date for the night was non other than Nate Archibald, although he was still dating Camille she was in France for the next two days so Blair must have asked him to go along. And Nate's smile just made Jenny's grow as well, she was going with her best friend and even Chuck's look was quickly noted as he nudged Nate in the ribs and scowled for a moment.

For everyone including Nate, Jenny was truly the one stealing the show out of all of them that even Chuck was smiling at the girl. She looked stunning for her first night out, she wore a loose fitting white dress with a golden accent collar along with a pair of heels. Her air was simply and yet elegant that she looked like regular Jenny, not a prestigious model of herself or something fake but original. Paired with a coat she looked fabulous for a simple fundraiser, and more importantly she looked healthy and beautiful considering her ordeal.

"Hands off!" Breaking the mood he was joking as he smiled to Blair who he swooped into a hug and kissed her, she too looked stunning.

Grabbing her coat for the evening Jenny and everybody else was on their way.

* * *

There had been social hour for the first hour of the evening, and then a speech was given for the fundraiser and by ten o' clock that evening there was the final speech of the evening before a final cock tail hour in which Blair and Chuck had made their way around the whole floor and were finishing up. But that's when Jenny caught herself stop breathing as she looked past the two of them across the room, she looked straight past Blair who was smiling and laughing.

The room suddenly was closing in on her as she felt her lungs collapse, she couldn't breath and she looked around the room. Where was anyone? Every person she felt if she reached for them they were miles away, but he was only inches from her even though he was across the room.

Her head was cloudy as her vision was hazy, he was the only crystal clear thing she saw in the crowd of blurred faces. She grabbed her head and spun on her heels, a little to fast as she stumbled a step and then moved quickly through a small crowd and towards the front door. She tried to catch her breath as she made her way towards the coat room and as she felt her breath shortening and her head getting lighter she was caught off guard when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She tried to scream but nothing came out as she flinched, and when she was met face to face she prepared for a sting but found Nate's concerned face.

"Jen? What's wrong?" Nate was confused as he watched her, she was inhaling and exhaling too fast for him to count like she was having an asthma attack but the look of fear in her eyes he connected some dots. And for some reason the first thing he could think to do was cup her face and kiss her, and when he withdrew she was breathing normal but there was a relaxed fear in her head. Like she was scared but knew it couldn't hurt her. "What happened?"

"He's here." Her words were quick as they spilled out of her mouth and Nate wasted no time as he handed over their coat check tickets and they were gone.

She got in the car almost shaking but a quick text to Chuck with no response, Nate took her home. They couldn't have been home for more than an hour when just before midnight he heard her scream and he rushed from the living room to the guest room. She was thrashing in the bed crying, and when he grabed her she sobbed in his arms.

Nate laid with her in his arms, brushing her hair until she calmed down and before he knew it she fell asleep from the exhaustion and the crying. But before he knew it he too had fallen asleep, thinking about that night and kissing her, it reminded him of that time he'd found her dancing in a studio, that time he'd helped her crash a big fundraiser to advertise herself as a designer, and it also reminded him of all the bad times and why he'd missed out on her.

* * *

Blair had schedule a spa day for the two of them but as she knocked lightly on the door she had walked into a sight she knew a seventeen year old Blair would have snapped a photo of and sent to Gossip Girl.

There in the guest room which was the residence to Jenny Humphrey lay the blond who was fast asleep in the arms of Nate who she noted was still dressed.

Turning around on her heels with a big smile on her face she made her way into the dining room where Chuck sat drinking a cup of coffee she had brewed only minutes ago for him.

"She still asleep?"  
"Yeah, with Nate."

Her voice was chipper as the words slipped out, she loved Jenny but more importantly she loved the idea of the look on Chuck's face.

His heart dropped as he coughed with the coffee he had just swallowed and found himself choking for just that moment before he put the coffee cup down. Staring at her he awaited more news pf this, his eyes grew wide as she just sat their smiling.

"Don't worry. I'm assuming after last night they just talked. Not the first time."

Chuck had a flash back of walking in on Jenny fully awake and in the middle of chosing a real outfit as Nate was just waking up, but he knew nothing had happened because there were several Jenny-esque netflix movies watched and he had heard Nate's soft snoring early in the morning.

"Chuck."

He knew that sound in her voice, she was worried and fretting on the inside which he knew all to well of her. Was the different sounds in which the tone in her voice changed which he had learned so well. But as she grabbed a muffin from the basket she sat across from him at the island.

"I am worried." Taking one soft bite she gave a small pout to her lip and the look in her eye was worrisome. "What happens when he breaks her heart?" "He's quite serious about Camille, Blair." "Don't play stupid with me. I know you see it. Who does Camille look like? Or any of them? Sarah, Clairey, Samantha, Genevieve? And what about this?"

Blair held up a small picture that was the two couples together when they had all gone out to California for an event for the governor. It was a picture that included Clark and Jenny as well as Blair with Chuck from a newspaper clipping about the power couples of east and west coast.

But the look in Chuck's face told Blair all she needed to know, he knew what she meant. In fact, Chuck would never tell Blair but he had known it for a while. The way that Clark looked at her, the way he spoke to her and treated her when it was good reminded him in aspects of the way Nate had treated her. And in some ways, he saw Nate's appearance in the man and Blair had suggested it once when the two of hthem were in the same room together.

In fact he remembered their first attempt at it and when Jenny had ended that, and Vanessa had given her the letter. At the end of the day when Nate moved right on, Chuck had heard the girl's heart break from miles away it was so loud. A few months later she hadn't moved on and went for revenge and then he remembered one time Nate told him something that happened not long after Jenny and Clark started dating.

Nate and one of his many girls he was dating along with all his closest friends ensued in a game of assassin. In which Nate had also invited Jenny, to the end of the game it came down to a final two in which Jenny and Nate were going after each other for assignments. Chuck remembered Nate telling him about how Jenny had tricked him by getting his picture when she kissed him as a distraction.

But Chuck had known for a while the two weren't over each other, if they had been then Jenny would have left Chuck's pent house by now. However when he had the open hand for both his friends to live there, he knew they'd keep enjoying that chance.

"He won't. She'll break his." Taking another sip he looked at Blair.

* * *

Nate felt his body just itching to get up as the musles stretched but he kept himself still, he quickly found himself in a bit of an awkward position. The blond had her head rested on his chest where she had fallen asleep last night, he must have been as tired as she was and fallen asleep as well. But what was even more compromising was she had one hand resting on chest gripping his shirt and her other hand had grabbed his, or had it been the other way around?

Eitherway he found a happiness being here, there wasn't space between them there was a contentness spreading through his body as he found himself smirking. The position though in which he had slept left him with a sore neck, but as he looked down to her he felt in that moment that he wanted to lean down and kiss her forehead.

Unwinding their fingers he heard talk from teh dining room meaning Blair and Chuck were here, and as he began to shift from underneath her she did a little cat stretch in bed and her eyes creeped open. He hadn't realized just how blue her eyes were until that moment as he watched her in the process of waking up, and then moving out of the bed he looked at her.

When her eyes caught his figure he knew she'd be registering, and she looked quickly down at herself to find her dressed in her leggings and a tee-shirt, although no bra she was still fully dressed. As was Nate in a pair of draw string pajama bottoms and a tee-shirt.

"So...was I wild last night?"

She had broken the tension in the air as she sprawled out in the bed and winked at him, obviously joking.

"Slept like a baby. Didn't move an inch." "Really?" She sounded surprised as she looked at him more seriously. "Nothing?" "Nope." He was smiling though, he was happy she hadn't had any nightmares or a panic attack.

With that though she got out of bed and dove into her closet, throwing her tee-shirt and leggings out of closet and into the room. It left Nate's mind wandering as he saw the clothes she'd just been wearing now on the floor, the thought of her although not a far idea it was still sights unseen.

And yet here she came out of the closet with a pair of jeans on along with the start of putting a shirt on but as she stumbled out of the closet she came close to falling so Nate laughed.

"Some help?" Jenny squealed out as she felt Nate's hands brush hers, and her face turned red. But she at least had an excuse of embarassment as he pulled it down.

It's when she realized how close he was, and her stomach felt like someone just punched her as she saw him smile. Which was met with a lost and confused look on her face as she looked to his chest.

"Nate..." She hesitated before looking up at him. "I wanted to thank you for being such a good friend last night."

The distance between her and him was such a short distance she kept noting, her body wanted to gravitate that distance and crash into him. But she could feel her lips trembling, his kiss last night although quick and meaningless felt like it had meant something to her.

Nate offered a smile and brushed her hair away from her face. It hurt, friend zoned but he understood where she was coming from. He was in a relationship and for her relationships so far hadn't been healthy or worked out.

"No problem." And with that he turned, leaving the room and leaving Jenny alone.

* * *

It had been snowing non-stop for two days when finally it broke, it was just after dinner when she settled back into her room and opened up Netflix. She started watching the first thing it suggested, "Safe Haven". Michelle had suggested it and every time the blond watched it she just kept seeing herself in the situation, except she never once put real thought into running away.

She stood up and decided that as the beginning was starting she'd change into her pajamas, and as she opened her dresser drawer she caught a glimpse of her photo. When times were good, and when times were happiest.

Jenny went to her night stand and grabbed her phone and dialed the first person she could, speed dial number one.

As the phone rang she looked out over New York City, amazed at the view Chuck's place did have. The snow had begun melting earlier that day but even so the ice that had formed over the city building's was amazing. With the lights and the reflections she was entranced until she heard a voice answering her call.

"Hi Clark."


	5. Chapter Five

She dressed simply for that evening the plan was seven at 'Player's Club' which for her was a fifteen minute drive via cab and if she was late it really didn't matter. And truthfully she grabbed the first thing she had found in her closet which was perfectly club appropriate. But her excuse for leaving the house, she had yet to think of that one since Chuck was home.

Getting up from her seat at the mirror she stood up and looked at herself in the full-length mirror she was impressed with herself. The dress was a size smaller than her usual wear but she had known the store's dresses tended to run small. She'd had it around for years and even had one in another color somewhere in the closet. It was a cheaper end posh high-neck dress that she'd have for two years now but in truth it had been a perfect going out at night outfit.

It had a sweetheart mesh yoke with long sleeves, and a buttoned keyhole in the back. Sexy yet stylish at the same time, and paired with her leather jacket it was even more badass in a sense. A pair of black dream weaver booties topped it off, the leather ascent and the golden vintage buckle on the side you could barely see made it even better. No necklace along with it, she had tucked away the promise ring that Clark had given her that she'd worn on a chain for the longest time, it was hidden somewhere in a jewelry box in the closet.

But she finished the outfit off with a quick comb of her hair that gave it a sexy tossed feeling and put on her daily worn bracelet that she had gotten for her eighteenth birthday from everybody, it was expensive but stylish at the same time. A solid gold band and on the inside it had her name on it, she remembered Nate handed her the box and Chuck and Blair had just smiled from behind her.

Her id was tucked in her bra as she walked out of her bedroom to only see Chuck sitting on the couch, his back turned to her he had Blair by his side. She smiled and bent over the back of the couch and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll be back later."

Chuck was taken by surprise as he spun to look at her, his eyes dragging up and down before looking at Blair then back to Jenny.

"Where?"  
"Rooftop Club." Lie number one.  
"With whom?"  
"I'm meeting Nate there." Lie number two.  
"Ok." The sound in his voice was hesitant but as he looked to Blair, the woman seemed thrilled.

Jenny hopped in the elevator with a smile on her face, and as the doors closed Blair smiled to Chuck.

"It's good for her to get out."  
"I'm more worried about what trouble she can get into."  
"As long as she stays safe, and being with Nate is safe."  
"I suppose you're right."

With that the two of them snuggled up on the couch and enjoyed a real night alone, as Blair took a sip of her drink and Chuck took another sip of his.

* * *

Checking her coat in at the coat check she left her I.D. in the pocket and dove into the club, at such an early hour the real club people had yet to arrive. Half the booths in the back were empty , even if he didn't come she would have a good night. But knowing him he would show up, whether he was late or not.

Ordering a drink she didn't plan on getting drunk or let alone getting drugged, she was in control of the night as she got her drink and went to a booth. Sitting down she was on the lower level, Player's club had booths on the lower layer and then several up top. Sitting down below she relaxed into the seat and let the music settle into her ears with a smirk growing on her face it was when two hands clasped over her face she felt panick set through her body.

As soon as her body jumped the hands let go and moved around in front of her automatically apologizing, it was Clark but the first thing she could note were his eyes. They were so handsome and beautiful, they swallowed her up and she thought for a moment she had just been looking into them earlier that morning. She remembered waking up and falling asleep looking into them. But she shook that thought, those had been Nate's eyes she'd woken up to this morning, not Clark's who had a harsher tint to them but for some reason this evening with the lights flickering she saw a softness more like Nate's.

It was an awkward few starts but eventually they broke back into the swing of things as she relaxed, people were arriving meaning more witnesses if anything did go wrong. The bouncer also knew her from earlier occasions and knew Chuck, he watched out for Jenny the best he could every time she went in.

There was talking about how Jenny was doing well in therapy, the deeper part of their convo when Clark admitted he to was in therapy. He'd been in rehab for being an alcoholic, which Jenny could remember the bottles she'd sometimes clean up every night but had never thought him to be an alcoholic. Maybe this had happened after she'd left, but when he also told her about his anger management she recalled having her body punched on multiple occasions.

He apologized, but more importantly he charmed her back into his world as she just sat their smiling like a school girl and eventually they spent the night together enjoying the club. They danced and drank together, they both experienced a quick make-out session when he finally told her how sorry he was and how much he loved her and missed her.

* * *

The elevator pinged as the doors opened, just as quickly Chuck hit the mute button. It was just past eleven meaning the girl had been out for a few hours but shorter than what she had been known for once before. Knowing her though she'd probably had a couple and called it quits, she hadn't been out in the longest time and especially not to a club.

"Have fun tonight?"  
"Oh a blast." Nate smiled as he walked into the living room, where he was met by a concern on his best friend's face suddenly. "What? Do I have something on me?"  
"Where's Jenny?"

Nate lifted an eyebrow as he looked from Blair to Chuck's puzzled faces, there was an obvious concern and confusion among them.

"She's with you."  
"No I haven't seen her since this morning. I stopped by 'cause I forgot something." But as he looked to Chuck he finally understood.  
"Where is she?"  
"She said Rooftop and she said with you."  
"Well I haven't heard from her since this morning."  
"Then where is she?" Blair stated the obvious question the two of them were both thinking.

* * *

Fifteen days in paradise, that was the clock Jenny had been running on as she looked outside her bedroom window at Chuck's. Wrapped in her favorite big sweater she glared at the city below, her hair in a messy pony tale she decided a morning shower would do her well after the night she had had.

Grabbing a towel from the stand she left the room and made her way down the hall way, Chuck was away on business until Saturday and Blair hadn't stopped by but as those thoughts cruised through her mind she grabbed the door knob just as it opened in front of her and she was face to face with Nate. Her face grew red for a minute as she bit her lip and looked from the towel around his waist up to his face, which was filled with a disappointment that she had grown use to.

He moved out of her way without a word and she slid past him, as she turned around to say something he was already walking down the hallway. Ever since she'd gotten back together with Clark no one had been happy with her, Blair had kept a watchful eye on the two and Chuck had left on foreign business not long after. But it was Nate who had been left to see the mess, they had barely spoken more than a few words and he had invited Camille over most nights. Jenny would come back from a night out and find the blond in the bathroom or walking back it the bedroom, or a trace of her clothes somewhere.

Pressing play on the speakers in the shower she stripped from her clothes and jumped in, the water was steaming hot as she felt her skin turning red under the water. With a quick jerk to turn the water off she found her head pounding, another head ache. The doctors had told her it could be a side effect of the lack of sleep, the nightmares, but other wise it was just a head ache. She had a lot going on after all.

Jenny then stood in the mirror looking at herself, rubbing parts of her body checking for bruises whether they were just forming or they were deep. She waited for the wince of pain she was use to, but as she pressed harder into the muscles on her arm or her abdomen she couldn't find an ounce of pain besides the occasional knot she found.

Old habits, she didn't know why she couldn't get rid of them. Looking for bruises that weren't even there. Clark had changed, for the better. But had she?

* * *

Today was special, Clark was taking her to one of his therapy sessions which was a group anger management and addiction group in the heart of New York. As they walked in they were early, and Clark introduced her to Cleo his sponsor and Rodney the group leader who had formed the group for people who wanted help.

They sat through introductions together until Rodney looked to her and smiled, then asked Clark to introduce himself.

"My name is Clark and I am a recovering alcoholic who hasn't taken a drink in three months and I use to take my anger out on my girlfriend. But I have changed."

People clapped for him as he smiled, but Jenny found half her body crawling away from him mentally, why did he lie? He said he hadn't had a drink in three months yet just last night he'd been taking shots with her at the bar. This was a treatment center, a judge free zone and when Rodney called her name for what she assumed was the second time she snapped out of her trance.

"I'm Jenny and I'm recovering from domestic abuse."

Everyone said their hellos and so group began, everyone spoke about their issues and how they were going to move on from them and heal. There was Haley who was the mayor's niece, but one of many and the youngest of his band of family. Jenny recognized her automatically, the girl had a serious addiction to prescription drugs among other things. Then there was Jax, Tara, Jonathan, Jonathan's brother Micky, Cleo, and Justin who had addictions from drugs to alcohol to both.

But the one who could relate to Jenny in a sense was Justin who spoke about how it all started when his sister was beaten to death by her boyfriend, that he broke after that because he had nothing left. The thought of her own funeral had played over so many times, that one more punch that night before her friend's had found her, maybe that'd have been her in a casket all dressed in black and forever young.

At the end of an hour and a half the group split and the two left together and had lunch, as part of Clark's therapy taking her out to public was important. But part way through lunch she found herself drifting from conversation, that was until he gave her a touch on the hand and when she didn't snap up straight away he squeezed. When she made a face and looked at her hand and pulled it back he looked hurt, but also offended she'd have done something like that.

"Did you hear me?" His voice had a tone to it, she couldn't quite pick it out. But her heart skipped as the saw Nate's eyes staring at her, there wasn't kindness there but instead a harshness, a disappointment that she hadn't done something once more.

"I'm sorry, what was it?" Her voice was small, shrunken to soft words but he smiled at her response, knowing he had been heard.  
"Do you wanna come to an event tomorrow night?"  
"Sure, what is it for?" Her smile was verifying to him as she brushed all thoughts aside, going out with him was fun she'd had a lot of fun lately.  
"Gallery opening for a good friend of mine, lots of friends will be there. You remember Rebekah and Markus? We-"

He spoke on and on about a group of friends they'd met while doing some traveling, but her mind was focused on the fact of going out. She found herself thinking of what to wear, and once she thought of the dress she thought of accessories and then shoes, etc.

* * *

As Jenny took the hand of Clark as they got out of the town car she smiled as the two had their photo taken, walking with her arm laced through his and a big smile on her face they entered the gallery. Although it was a decent sized floor plan it was packed with people, dressed in all sorts of eccentric outfits she found herself to wear one of the tamest.

She had gone for a nude and black lace dress with sleeves and an extremely low-cut back that left the middle of her back completely bare. No leggings or tights and a pair of black booty heels to top it off made the outfit very simple, nothing too outrageous. Her hair was pulled back into a bun with chop sticks in it, but aside from that she went for the same amount of make-up she use to wear whenever she and Clark went on dates.

He grabbed them drinks to start the evening as they made their way around, chatting with his friends and then their old friends who were shocked to see them together. But they quickly ran into people Clark clearly hadn't meant to see, Blair and Chuck were arm and arm approaching them when Jenny smiled and hugged them.

"You got back early." There was a surprise in her voice as she hugged Chuck and smiled to Blair.  
"Business went accordingly, how's it been? You haven't trashed the place?"  
"Of course she wouldn't, not with Nate being there." Blair smiled to him and he looked to her.

Jenny noticed that small pit of anger in Clark's face however, and after a few minutes of small talk she and Clark had made their way around the room. She felt the small hammer hitting her head, or at least that's how it felt, as she closed her eyes tight she saw bright colors and just shook her head and looked around. Head aches were sometimes the worst, and at the moment this one had been nothing like some of the others.

A quick chat with the artist as she stood silently drinking away she found herself looking around the room, which was when she felt Clark's lips brush against her neck as he whispered in her ear.

"We need to talk." It was hushed, yet rough with the way he spoke as he sweeped her away across the room.

They found themselves tucked against the wall away from everyone. He was cuddled up in front of her looking down at her, Jenny found herself making circles with her eyes around the top of the glass. He put his finger under her chin and pulled her head up, his voice was harsh as he made her look at him.

"I said, when did Nate start living with you?"  
"He lived with Chuck before I did, it's no big deal." Moving her head she quickly felt him put himself back in that position.

It led to a quick argument which she felt tears filling in her eyes which is when she felt the pit in her stomach start and then she felt gutsy. He was making a case that she didn't tell him about Nate because she wanted to be with him, that he didn't date whores which was now what he called her, he was putting her down and she just stood there taking the verbal beating. But never once was there full rage on his face, and his voice never got louder than a whisper.

"Because I still love him." She whispered it at first and then repeated herself a little louder at a more conversational level as she looked him in the eyes. "I love him."

For some reason she let the words spill out of her mouth, and internally she was smiling for telling him off. The look of pain on his face was worth saying it.

Chuck and Blair had found Nate not long after they had run into Clark and Jenny, and when they did the boy looked in distress. He just looked upset and down about something and when they both asked, he told them he had broken things off with Camille for good that she was moving back to France to model full-time for several brand name companies over there which was more important than relationship, plus he needed some time off of things. It had ended peacefully and civily, so Nate ha come to help raise some money.

The trio was having conversation when Blair's wandering eye caught sight of Jenny and Clark across the room, and when Chuck was just about to speak about it they all saw it. Along with other people in the room, the man had just thrown his arms in front of him as his hands met the blond straight in the chest pushing her forward.

Nate sprinted milliseconds after Chuck had when he saw the man even lift his arms and by the time the two were there, Blair had run to Jenny's aid.

She'd hit her head on the floor, she saw everyone rushing around her as the air grew thick she heard no noise except for a buzzing sound. When she swallowed she felt like she tasted blood but that couldn't be, looking around she blinked a few times before Blair helped her up.

* * *

They were home within minutes, the buzzing filled her ears as she looked out the window. She was totally out of it, in a daze as she heard mumbling from around her it was just Blair. Chuck and Nate had stayed for some extra time.

In the end of it all, she had watched as Nate punched Clark and Chuck pulled him off. Which was when the artist told them they could deal with it outside but not in here, people were appalled as security dragged Clark outside and Blair sweeped Jenny away into the town care and back home.

Blair had begun to fall silent as she noticed Jenny wasn't talking, but internally Jenny was battling herself.

Why was she so stupid? People like that don't just up and change after a few weeks, after a couple months, that doesn't happen. She should have listened, why didn't she listen to anyone? The visions of a fist flying towards her face suddenly dawned upon her as the elevator arrived at their floor she was faced back in the present. Walking off the elevator she heard Blair say something but kept walking and then went straight to her room, grabbing a sweater and leggings she then dove straight into the bathroom.

Turning the tub on to hot she waited for it to fill as she helped herself out of her dress, pulling her hair up into a ponytail she spun it around and made it into a messy bun. Her feet entered the tub first as she dipped her body lower in she felt the pain of the hot water.

Blair was on the phone with Chuck, as Jenny dove her head under the water she got a quick flashback of that night.

She dropped the phone that night into the tub as he grabbed her by her hair and down the hallway she continued to scream. His grip had loosened as she started to crawl away she let out a scream but very quickly his foot met her back as pain shot up her spine. His fist clasped around her throat as she gasped for breath she clawed at him trying to fight but couldn't reach.

The more she fought the worse it got, his fist met her eye and as it went back towards her eye she had squirmed to get her nose, the crunching sound it made filled her ears. He kept going at her and each time she managed to wiggle loose the worse the beating got, until he kicked her in the ribs and she felt that fighting was no longer worth it.

Opening her eyes under the water she saw him above her with his smile, and as her mouth opened she found herself swallowing the water and a feeling of drowning. Put as soon as she pulled herself up there was no one there, she gasped for air as the water filled her lungs, coughing up the water.

Grabbing the towel she rubbed her body dry and threw her sweater and leggings on, she put both her hands on either side of the sink as she breathed slowly. Taking deep breaths she was regaining control as she let out a deep sigh she looked up to see herself, she looked like herself. Normal Jenny with no make-up and wet hair, but she saw a tired look in her eye. Was she over reacting? He just pushed her, nothing had ha-

Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt her head ache hit her fast and hard, which was when she turned the sink on hoping the sound would relax her. Closing her eyes she started calling Blair's name, getting louder and louder until she opened her eyes getting ready to leave.

Which was when she noticed it, a small blood drop in the sink, and then another. She looked in the mirror, her nose wasn't bleeding but she noted the small red line in her right ear as she turned her head and put her fingers to her ear there was fresh blood on her finger tips.

Calling Blair's name one last tie she heard the door knob turn as the girl walked in, her face slightly red from having dashed there in a obvious hurry.

'What?" "I think I need to go to the hospital." "Jen?" Blair looked at her funny until her eyes widened and she made a quick movement to try and catch her.

The tall lanky blond's bright blue eyes had just rolled up after her sentence, and then she collapsed straight down to the ground.

* * *

**A/N - I know the chapter's are progressively getting worse lol. I am searching for a BETA if anyone would like to be?**


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